Before You Get Married

Chapter 1

Trust brings people closer together; it’s not just about giving trust to the other person but also about placing trust in oneself. But neither Emily nor James was strong enough to move forward with the one they loved.

Emily stood in front of the ship’s railing, feeling the gusts of wind blowing sharply against her face, weaving through her hair and skin, soothing her current feelings of suffocation. It made her feel more comfortable—the fresh and slightly salty scent of the sea breeze lightened her mood.

Emily wished that those winds could carry her away at this moment, or at least erase all her memories and emotions.

She looked toward the deck, where James and David were sitting under the cabin’s overhanging awning. Both seemed very close, each holding a cup of rice wine, clinking glasses with a sharp sound and laughing heartily. She didn’t know what they were talking about that made them so happy.

Emily sighed. She turned her face back toward the sea. She didn’t want to see anyone right now. This should have been the happiest and most joyful moment because tomorrow, right on this luxurious and splendid ship, she would marry James.

There was still a smile on her lips, her rosy face showing happiness, but it was nothing more than a mask made from tense facial muscles and thick layers of makeup. Deep inside, Emily knew she didn’t want this wedding at all.

Because she didn’t love James.

Her heart had long belonged to David. For some unknown reason, perhaps because she was too shy and lacked confidence, she had always been just a shadow beside David.

This hidden love had been kindled in Emily’s heart since she was fifteen, the first time she met David. Emily had gone alone to watch an outdoor concert in the city’s central square, where crowds jostled to find a good spot and stood on tiptoes just to catch a glimpse of the stage. The booming music echoed everywhere.

Emily, a small girl, was pushed and shoved so much that she fell to the ground. If she hadn’t gotten up in time, she might have been trampled. David’s arm appeared just in time for Emily to hold onto.

From that moment, the image of the young man in his twenties, vibrant and strong, a solid support, was etched deeply in Emily’s mind, making her heart flutter every time she saw him.

After the outdoor concert, Emily insisted on meeting David to thank him and invite him for tea.

Their relationship progressed a little, the distance between them shortened, at times seeming like there was no gap at all between two hearts beating as one. But for some reason, Emily couldn’t accept or take a further step, and David hesitated, waiting for her with a faint signal from his heart.

Probably because neither of them trusted themselves or each other. They stayed together like that, with a vague, drifting affection, unclear and undefined.

Until one day, David introduced Emily to James, his best friend who had just returned from studying abroad for several years. Unlike David, James was strong and decisive. He liked Emily at first sight and confessed to her right after meeting.

That night, at a live music tea house, James boldly declared his love to Emily. Immediately, she glanced at David. He showed no reaction, just silence. The quiet lasted for a whole minute over the sentimental background music, making everyone feel a bit sad, anxious, curious, and excited.

“Let me think about it a little,” Emily said.

She stood up and went into the restroom. She splashed water on her face; the cold water sobered her a bit, but she still couldn’t find a reasonable answer to James’s confession. The person she liked was David.

“You should go out there and face it, hiding in here won’t help,” David said unexpectedly, leaning against the restroom door, not caring if this was the right place for him to stand.

Emily was surprised, frustrated, and disappointed. Clearly, she could refuse James and confess to David, but she didn’t dare. She would feel guilty toward James and wrong toward herself. Her choices were like bubbles swirling in her mind; no matter where she flicked, the bubble would burst.

“What should I say now? I’m so nervous,” Emily blurted out, unable to arrange her words properly to convey her meaning. That made both of them drift apart, and their unclear relationship suddenly vanished into nothingness.

“Oh, what’s there to be so scared of? You should be brave in matters like this,” David felt a bit suffocated inside. He didn’t want Emily and James to be together, but clearly, he couldn’t stop them. Even Emily said she was nervous when James confessed. That proved there was no place for him. “Or maybe you feel inadequate?”

David thought he should push them forward since he had no chance anyway. So, he chose to provoke Emily. As he expected, Emily frowned and snapped.

“I’m not inadequate!”

“Then prove it to me.”

Emily glared at David. Fine. He was the one who pushed her away! She angrily left the restroom area, leaving David standing there in the dark corridor with a churning, restless heart.

He knew he had made the wrong choice.

And so, Emily and James officially became a couple. Emily felt nothing but that she had acted foolishly. Countless times she wanted to break up with James. That would make her a terrible person, playing with someone else’s feelings. She was scared again, and then she just nodded and let it pass.