A Daughter and the Price of Strength

Every girl wants to be strong so that she can stand firm against the storms of life. But sometimes, that very strength unintentionally builds a wall separating her from everyone around her. So, does a girl really need to be strong?

I am a strong girl. Perhaps so. I am independent, confident, and able to stand on my own two feet. Perhaps so. At least, these are the very first things people might think of when they look at me.

I have never shed a tear in front of others. Or at least, aside from one close friend, no one has ever seen my tears. I don't want to cry in front of others because it makes me feel pitied. I intensely dislike "crybaby" girls—those who can cry at almost any given moment and never seem to stop. Tears make girls dependent and fragile. Tears can wash away a wound to some extent, but they cannot heal it. Tears shed in front of others are merely a plea for sympathy, and those are the hardest tears to stop.

Because of this mindset, whenever I stumble, I force myself to hold back my tears, try to remain calm, and then find an empty place to let them fall. Only then, a little while later, am I able to stand back up on my own two feet.

I lived and believed I was right for a very long time. But as I walked through the years of my life, I realized I was wrong. Being alone is truly exhausting. There were times when I felt deeply envious of girls who could freely express their emotions—complaining or crying loudly when they were sad, and laughing heartily when they were happy. Weeping in silence only makes the wound sink deeper. Standing up bravely with an unhealed wound will, sooner or later, cause you to be knocked down once again by a maze of old scars. Therefore, cry when you need to, in front of the people you love and trust, to feel lighter at heart.

Because I am strong, I tend to let others lean on me, giving the people I love a sense of security and reliability. Therefore, whenever they are unhappy or facing unsolvable problems, they come to me. In their times of difficulty, I would always stand by their side no matter what happens, always think from their perspective whether they are right or wrong, always be there whenever they call my name, and even help without being asked. Serving as a pillar of support for others, I never allow myself to become weak. I am fully capable of overcoming difficulties on my own and solving troubles with my own strength. That is why I never ask anyone for favors, nor do I ever open my mouth to complain.

I lived and believed I wasn't wrong, for a long time. But I became exhausted, tired, and depressed. More than once, my heart cried out, longing for a hand to reach out and help during difficult times, or even just someone willing to stand by my side, which would give me so much more strength. More than once, I wondered what it feels like to have someone truly strong and reliable to lean on, someone who would stay by my side and support me wholeheartedly no matter what I do. After the exhaustion and busyness of life, having someone to lean on is also a truly wonderful thing.

I love listening to other people's stories and having them pour their hearts out to me. Because that makes me feel trusted. That feeling is amazing! Many friends tell me about their worries, and I help them solve them or voice my thoughts, sometimes just to make them feel better. But when it comes to my own matters, I am a private person. Because I am inherently stubborn, I have already made up my own mind about most things, and very rarely do I change my thoughts no matter what others say. Therefore, I believed that whether I told others or not, everything would remain the same, so there was no need to waste time in vain.

I still lived and believed I was right, for a long time. But suddenly one day, someone told me that sharing the secrets of one's heart with others is not just to receive advice, but simply to make the heart feel lighter. I didn't believe it. I tried it. And I realized how foolish I was, just for thinking I was right, assuming that being strong meant needing no one.

Perhaps from the very beginning, I misunderstood the two words "strength." I lived by the rules I deemed right and bound myself. Life has no framework, so a girl should simply be a girl—neither overly strong nor overly fragile. Cry when you want to cry, laugh when you want to laugh.

Just by doing the things you love, being a girl is truly wonderful!