The Stab in the Back

THE STAB IN THE BACK FROM YOUR ROOMMATE

– "Where are you going?"

– "Oh, uh... I'm going out with my friend. I have to go out for some drinks with the guys today, so I can't come over to see you. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

– "So are you going with someone else or going alone?"

– "I'm just going alone, my friend is calling me now, bye for now. I'll see you tomorrow, kiss you."

Those were the lies she received from him after she deliberately called him. It wasn't just a simple check-in call. It was a test to see if he was being honest with her. She went back to her room, hugged her pillow, and cried her eyes out. That feeling of betrayal, to her, was even more painful than a knife piercing her heart.

That very evening, she saw him and that girl—her close roommate—walking together with her own eyes. Yet when she called him to ask, he denied it. If there was nothing going on, why would he lie? If it was just friends helping each other out or giving each other a ride somewhere, what was the point of denying it? There was definitely something shady going on here, and without a doubt, he was in love with that other girl.

1 year—that was the time she and him had spent together. He was her first love. The feeling of being loved and loving him was truly so unfamiliar. Until then, she had only ever known what it was like to have a crush on someone, but had never been told she was loved, never had anyone confess their feelings to her. But now, he was the one who wrote a love confession letter to her. He was the one who said she was the girl he needed. It was love at first sight right after they first met, and just over a month later, she told him she loved him. She had also liked him from the very first moment and felt overwhelmingly happy!

The two of them officially started dating from that moment on. The early days of love came so romantically and gently. She was immensely happy. Every time she was hugged by him, held his hand, or received a kiss on the forehead from him, she would write it in her diary. She loved him so much, but not once did she ever dare to say the words "I love you" to his face. Because she was shy, how strange the bashful feeling of a girl experiencing love for the very first time was.

His personality was also quite timid, so their romance consisted only of holding hands and hugging while riding together on his motorbike. She and him never crossed any lines. After 7 months, their love truly grew passionate—that was when he gave her a kiss on the lips, still shy and coy.

Standing close to her, he felt shaky. She could feel his trembling. As for her, she also felt completely choked up with emotion. She loved him, needed him, and missed him even when he was sitting right next to her. Yet every time he hugged and kissed her, her face would turn completely red.

He said gently:

– "Open your lips."

– "What for?"

He smiled, a gentler smile than she had ever seen before.

– "Don't you know how to kiss? You've probably never kissed anyone before, right?"

She whispered:

– "Never, you are my very first. That's really the truth. I'm so shy."

Saying that, he hugged her tightly. Perhaps he felt happy when she uttered the words, "You are my very first." And because she believed he was truly the first man she loved, her shyness proved it all.

However, it seemed that her shyness made him bored. He kept wanting to take things further with her, and he brought her back to his rented room. Even though he was also timid, a man's desires are strong. He wanted her to stay the night, but she refused and told him he wasn't being serious and didn't respect her. He tried to persuade her to stay, while she was filled with fear.

Many times like that, she told him she wasn't mentally prepared yet. She was still too shy. She wanted them to spend more time loving each other so they could understand and love each other more deeply. After that, she would think about "crossing the line" with him. Because she was still a student, she didn't dare do anything foolish; getting pregnant unexpectedly would be terrible and bring lifelong shame.

He agreed to her request because he had no other choice. He didn't dare pressure her either, because she was the one he loved. Perhaps it was her shyness that made him feel unsatisfied. When men are in love, no matter what, they always crave physical intimacy.

Since she and him couldn't be intimate, he might have grown frustrated. He needed a more proactive girl, someone ready to be close to him, give him many things, and make him feel pampered and like a true man.

During that time, she was completely devastated. She suffered, not knowing what to do as he grew colder toward her every day. All that was left were bland, perfunctory text messages. When she called him, he wouldn't answer, only to text back that he was busy. She was extremely disappointed. During those days, she cried far too much. She had a best friend by her side who always encouraged and comforted her, and even took the initiative to talk to her man about what she was going through. Her friend defended her, making her boyfriend understand how deep her feelings were, in hopes that he would return to her and understand her heartfelt struggles.

But unexpectedly, 3 months later, he began visiting the dormitory more frequently. Even when she called him, he wouldn't answer. No matter how hard she tried to hold onto him, she only received his coldness, yet the two of them had not officially broken up.

And finally, she realized that his heart had changed. He and her best friend had been secretly dating without her knowledge. Her friend was a pretty, lively girl, and especially knew very well how to captivate men. In terms of appearance, she admitted she couldn't compare to that girl. But she couldn't believe her friend would do such a thing, because she and that girl were best friends—very close friends. As for him, she thought he couldn't possibly be despicable enough to date his girlfriend's best friend. Yet in the end, they betrayed her and truly fell in love. But he didn't dare to confess, so every time he entered the dormitory, it was an excuse to see the other girl. At first, he pretended to come see her to get close to her friend, and later on, they sneaked around dating each other, completely ignoring her.

And now, they were publicly dating, leaving her to clutch her immense pain. She suffered terribly, losing several kilograms. Her heart ached so much; she felt there was nothing left she could do, unable to hold him back, yet filled with bitter hatred—hating the heavens, hating life, hating a fate so full of bitter irony. Why did the heavens take away the man she loved, and let him fall for her best friend, filling her with a hatred that cut to the bone? She was in too much pain; truly, only those who understand what it is like to lose a lover can understand her agony... She was almost in despair and felt she could no longer go on living. Truly, the heavens were too cruel. How and when would she ever forget this past love and this profound hatred?